A Matchmaker’s Secret Guide to Dating

15 Jul

As matchmakers, we think carefully about what you need to do to secure successful second, third dates, and so on. Here are our top secrets for successful dating.

A couple walking arm-in-arm catching up over a coffee as they walk along a footpath. dating

Do you watch with envy as your friends seem to be dating with ease and appear to have endless success meeting people online? Are you struggling to get your dating off the ground? At Maclynn international our focus goes beyond first dates, we want to get you into a successful long-term relationship. As matchmakers, we think carefully about what you need to do to secure successful second, third dates, and so on. Here are our top secrets for successful dating:

Be open:

The clients we work with who have the most success with dating are the ones who have the most open attitude on dates. So, when you go on a date, as difficult as it can be when you feel nervous, you must try your hardest to be as open as possible. Be open and relaxed to the questions your date asks you, and in return do your best to ask questions and be interested in their life and world.

Be positive:

If you go into dating with the attitude that it won’t work out, then surprise surprise you will find that it probably won’t. The negative energy that you bring, even on a subconscious level, can be obvious to your date. It can be easy for a negative mindset to show in your body language even if you think you are hiding it well. Like attracts like so stay positive and it will help to bring out the best and the most positive in your date.

Work with your nerves, not against them:

Accept that you are going to be nervous when you go on a date, it is a pretty unusual experience so cut yourself some slack about feeling uneasy. Rather than just trying to pretend you are not nervous, name the nerves at the beginning and tell your date how you feel, you might be surprised to know they are feeling the same and you can joke about it.

The other thing you can do is be prepared for the nerves and have a date planned that helps to ease things a little. Sitting face to face across a table can be quite an intense experience, so if this makes your nerves worse, try an activity to take some of that eye contact off you for a bit. You could plan a date with a walk around a gallery if you both like art, or go for a walk in the park together with coffee. Sharing a new experience will make the date feel special and give you more to talk about in the future.

Think about how you come across:

Whenever one of my clients mentions that they felt that their date didn’t seem very interested in them, I always ask them to reflect on their own behavior during the date. Are you doing anything to show your date that you’re interested in them? If you’re remaining stoic throughout the date, chances are that your date will reciprocate the feeling- regardless of how they’re feeling on the inside. I’m not suggesting that you profess your love to them or start kissing them passionately over appetizers, but if you’re interested in them, make sure to let them know. Smiling, flirting, eye contact, and mirroring body language are all great ways to show how you feel.

Bring a little humor:

Try and make sure that your date doesn’t end up feeling like a work interview, make sure you can inject a little humor into the date. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to make yourself into a stand-up comedian for the date but it is worth thinking about how to make sure you don’t make the conversation topics too heavy. Can you bring some lightness to the date, maybe some silly stories about yourself to lighten the mood and put your date at ease.

If you want any help with any of the above or any other relationship related issues, now might be the time to get in touch with Maclynn International and think about how a matchmaker can help you get back into dating.

by Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida Maclynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation.More by this author

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