Emotional Intelligence: The Secret Ingredient to Happy Relationships

17 Apr

Maybe you’ve struggled to communicate your thoughts and feelings to your partner, or perhaps your partner has failed to take the time to understand them. Many of us have experienced a lack of emotional intelligence in our relationships, and here's why we believe it is crucial to a happy relationship.

Shot of a happy young couple relaxing in the kitchen in the at home

Whether you’ve been the victim or the culprit, many of us have experienced a lack of emotional intelligence in our relationships. Maybe you’ve struggled to communicate your thoughts and feelings to your partner, or perhaps your partner has failed to take the time to understand them – either way, you can’t quite connect on this crucial level.

To understand why emotional intelligence can make or break a relationship, let’s first define what it means. Emotional intelligence is the ability to express, identify, and respond effectively to both your own emotions and the emotions of others. Those who have a high EQ are able to empathize with, understand, and communicate these feelings effectively.

It’s important to note that emotional intelligence has no ties to a person’s IQ. In fact, many of the world’s most learned, intelligent people completely lack the skill of understanding emotions. Some end up greatly successful in their fields while completely lacking in their love lives, and are left wondering how there could be such a disparity.

Research shows that emotional intelligence is incredibly significant in determining relationship happiness. One study carried out in Germany analyzed 136 couples for personality traits, stress management, and relationship happiness. The research showed that couples tend to be significantly happier and healthier in their relationships when at least one person possessed a high EQ.

To understand why, let’s discuss the impact of high EQ on a romantic relationship. People with emotional intelligence are sensitive to how their partner is feeling and even the underlying reasons why. Maybe your spouse had an attitude this evening, but did you know that the reason could very likely have nothing to do with you or your relationship? Being able to detect, identify, and empathize with your partner’s emotions can lead to less stress and conflict overall. It can also make you two feel closer as partners – when someone feels understood, it enables connectedness.

Another aspect of emotional intelligence is the ability to articulate one’s feelings. While understanding your partner is crucial, so is understanding yourself. Some are able to make it this far, yet fall short in being communicative about their thoughts and feelings despite having a good grasp on what they may be. Knowing each other’s emotional state not only has benefits, it’s essential to a healthy relationship.

As mentioned above, it’s important to get in touch with yourself so that you can be the best partner possible. Our consultative program, Your Dating Blueprint, was thoughtfully crafted by our team to best assist our clients in understanding where they currently stand in the dating journey. We also offer date coaching, and of course, award-winning matchmaking services.

Reach out today to learn more.

by Elise Braunschweiger

Matchmaker, New York City

Elise was born and raised in New Jersey. After graduating from Montclair State University with a degree in Humanities, in which she focused heavily on psychology, Elise enjoyed a fruitful career in client-facing roles, honing her interpersonal skills and customer service abilities. Elise believes the key to truly exceptional matchmaking is ensuring her clients receive only the finest service. She works with integrity, determination and fervor, and her passion for helping people find happiness makes her the perfect fit for the matchmaking industry.More by this author