Yet there’s no escaping texting, especially when you’re dating. We need it to confirm plans, check in, and stay emotionally connected from afar. But even if texting makes you nervous, if you’re single you probably can’t just “stop texting”—that’s not realistic. That’s why today I’m exploring 3 ways to overcome your texting nerves, and message your crush like a pro!
1. Clarify meaning
If a text confuses you or you think there’s been a misunderstanding, don’t be afraid to clear things up or ask for clarification. Let’s say you ask if they’re free Saturday night, and they reply with a wink emoji. Are they confirming they are free—or simply showing their appreciation for your keenness? Don’t waste time on the what-ifs—just ask!
By being honest when you don’t understand a text, you don’t just save your own time, but also help your new romantic interest refine the way they write, hopefully leading to fewer mixups in the future. And if they want there to be a future, they’ll be only too happy to text less ambiguously. On the other hand, if you feel your new date is being deliberately obtuse, that may be a red flag. Why would they wish to mislead you other than as some weird power play?
2. Take a break
Are you constantly checking your phone for texts from your new love interest? That’s not healthy. Checking, checking again, and rereading their previous messages to scan for hidden meaning can lead to obsessiveness, yet it’s a compulsion I’ve seen in countless clients during my time as a matchmaker, especially in the early stages of a relationship.
While of course you’re eager to hear from them, reflexively grabbing your phone every five minutes signals one of two things. Either you’re feeling insecure in a way that’s probably not rational, or your new partner is texting you in a way that’s unpredictable and therefore making you feel insecure. Whatever’s the case, something needs to change. A healthy dynamic is not one in which you’re on edge every waking moment wondering when you’ll next hear from them. If you’re putting your entire life on hold and feel you can never just be in the moment, that’s something to think address—and it all begins with putting your phone down.
Create a physical space between you and your phone if it helps—hide it away out of sight and out of mind. Put it on Do Not Disturb. I know it’s hard, but by taking a break you give your mind a rest, become more mindful and present with your loved ones, and therefore become happier and more at peace with yourself.
And if it all feels overwhelming, just bear in mind this one truth: If your new romantic interest likes you and wants to get in touch, they will make their intentions known and clear.
3. Remember: Texting is a means to an end
It might seem counterintuitive, but sometimes the best solution to texting nerves is to hold off on texting, at least for a little while. Especially if you’re arguing, the potential ambiguity inherent in texting may serve only to make your situation messier.
Texting has been revolutionary, but it is still a tool—and it has downsides. So if you can’t speak in person, a far more powerful way of communicating with your romantic interest is via video call, or at least over the phone. Unlike with texting, with these forms of communication you have access to the plethora of nonverbal signals that are lost via text: tone, posture, gestures, facial expressions, body language. This massively reduces the odds of misunderstanding, and helps forge a healthier, more trusting, and more mutually comprehensible relationship.
Maclynn is a boutique, multi-award-winning introductions agency with offices in New York, New Jersey, California, and London. We’re world-renowned for bringing together highly compatible singles within our vast network of attractive, intelligent professionals, and our matchmakers are relationship experts in their own right. Get in touch today, and prepare for genuinely meaningful dating—just like you deserve.
