5 Tips to Overcome Shyness While Dating

3 min read

Dating can always be a nerve-wracking event especially when you are an introvert or haven’t dated in a while. Though being an introvert doesn’t necessarily mean you are always shy around people, it can mean you tend to be quieter and more reserved - and most importantly need to ‘recharge’ by spending time alone after a social gathering.

Shyness is usually associated with anxiety and the fear or anticipation of negative judgments in social gatherings. One can be a shy introvert or a self-confident introvert. Post-pandemic, many people haven’t had to chance to date for a while and this often translates in increase levels of anxiety, especially for shy introverts.

Here are 5 tips to help overcome shyness while dating!

Plan your dates accordingly

Having planned out the location, activity, and outfit can help you prepare for your date and minimize your worries. Choosing a venue that makes you feel comfortable may dilute your anxiety. Opt for an outdoor café or an activity that puts your mind at ease like a walk in the park. A great thing about the internet is that you can look up reviews and photos of a venue to know what to expect. Our own blogs and social media are full of recommendations!

Socializing for a long period of time can sometimes make us feel overstimulated and ramp-up anxiety levels. One way to avoid this is by planning dates that only last a couple of hours. If shyness kicks in when conversing, I find that having some key points to talk about and is always helpful to avoid awkward silence. Sometimes having silly icebreaker questions in your back pocket can make a conversation interesting and engaging. If you really click with the person, all the shyness and anxiety is bound to go away and make the date more enjoyable.

Avoid too much alcohol or self-medicating during the date

Ah, the famous “liquid courage” may or may not work depending on how much alcohol you consume. Personally, a glass of wine does it for me. However, having a drink or two that may work in the short term, but relying on alcohol or substances can lead to dependence. I’m not saying that bar dates are not a great idea, but caution is advised to avoid any embarrassment.

Practice Self-love and Meditating

A great way to boost some confidence is by practicing self-love either in the form of reciting positive affirmations, mindfulness, and learning to recognize negative behavior thought patterns. Fear of judgment stems from shyness and low self-esteem, when you practice positive thinking and self-love, that can help minimize negative thoughts of social judgments and help you overcome shyness while dating!

Identify anxiety triggers and how you’ll handle them

Identifying anxiety triggers can help mitigate and even avoid anxiety by understanding how you react to these triggers and determining potential solutions. You may want to think back on instances where you felt the most anxious in a social setting and identify what caused you to be anxious. Once you’ve identified these triggers, it may be helpful to know how you reacted to them and how you can overcome those same feelings with solutions next time.

Stay honest and true to yourself

This may sound like a broken record, but being authentic and honest about who you are is always best practice. It is totally fine to tell your date that you are a bit shy or nervous before the date, people will mostly likely be understanding, and often they will be just as nervous too. Lastly, remember to have fun! Dating can be stressful and even amp-up anxiety levels, but try not to put so much pressure on yourself the right person will like you for who you are!


Maclynn is a boutique, multi-award-winning introductions agency with offices in California, New York, New Jersey, and London. We’re world-renowned for bringing together highly compatible singles within our vast network of attractive, intelligent professionals, and our matchmakers are relationship experts in their own right. Get in touch today, and prepare for genuinely meaningful dating—just like you deserve.

About the Author

Daniela Giralt

Open Membership Manager

A Los Angeles native, Daniela holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Education. A natural wanderlust, she has lived and travelled to many locations across Europe, including Spain where she taught English. Dani is intuitive and passionate about other cultures; she is fluent in Spanish and enjoys helping people foster connections, and find love and happiness through a psychology-based approach.

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