Sounds kinda exhausting. (Unless you are that friend, in which case, good for you!) But… don’t you sometimes wish you could tap into some of her energy? To make yourself enthusiastic and excited about dating, no matter the disappoints you’ve had or the weirdos you’ve encountered? How does she do it?
It comes down to combating dating fatigue. This is when the sheer volume of low-quality dates, or indeed rejections, makes you indifferent to the whole endeavor. But ironically, this apathy manifests in your face, demeanor, and body language—and makes you a less enjoyable date to spend time with.
As a matchmaker, trust me when I say: This is normal. I see it all the time. But feeling hopeless and exhausted at the mere prospect of another date will not find you love. So if you’re serious about starting a relationship with someone incredible, you need to take steps to revitalize your relationship with dating.
Clients ask me all the time how to work through this problem. So today I’ve put together the 3 most vital ways you can beat dating fatigue, stay happy and hopeful, and put the best version of yourself forward time and again until you meet The One.
1. Learn some dating skills
Believe it or not, there are specific skills you can cultivate to get “better” at dating—or at least to more robustly withstand its tribulations. You can gain these skills from a therapist, a dating coach—or, I daresay, a matchmaker. (Yep, we’re relationship experts, too!) You can learn how to recognize your own value, be smarter and more selective about who you meet, and ultimately enjoy the dating journey come highs or lows.
Speaking of which…
2. Don’t take the disappointments personally
Despite the increasingly intelligent algorithms, online dating still involves being paired somewhat randomly with a stranger and hoping for the best. It takes time, patience, and savvy to pare down your options until you land on the right one. There’s going to be awkwardness along the way, maybe even heartbreak—but believe me, as a matchmaker: You will come out the other side stronger, and all the better partner for the multitude of setbacks.
And remember: It’s really not personal. If someone decides they’re not feeling it with you, it’s not because they want to hurt you, or because there’s something wrong with you.
Think about it this way: If there’s one special person out there for you, how many people are you going to date who will be nice enough but just don’t make you melt? It’s no reflection on any of your dates as people; someone will come along who feels that way about them. For you, it’s not personal to them—and in the same way, any disappointments you experience aren’t personal either.
3. Check your expectations
If you’re hoping to jump the queue and meet The One within a week of having signed up to Tinder, you will be disappointed. It’s important to recognize that it takes time to meet the right person, and that while the apps give you a good starting position by matching you with similarly minded singles with compatible interests, that’s still a million miles from finding your soulmate. Of course that’s not to say you can’t or won’t find your soulmate online, but there’s a chance you even meet them and feel initially underwhelmed. Only by nurturing a deep, long-term, and intimate connection can you truly know if this is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Dating fatigue is a normal, and indeed understandable, part of the dating journey. We’ve all been there. But by building a strong mind, cultivating your self-respect, and exercising patience, there’s no reason you can’t find the love of your life. All in good time.
Maclynn is a boutique, multi-award-winning introductions agency with offices in New York, New Jersey, California, and London. We’re world-renowned for bringing together highly compatible singles within our vast network of attractive, intelligent professionals, and our matchmakers are relationship experts in their own right. Get in touch today, and prepare for genuinely meaningful dating—just like you deserve.
