The Effect of Texting on Relationships

27 Jul

Texting – what would we do without it? With its increased efficiency, there is no denying texting can make our lives easier, but when it comes to relationships, it may come with some inevitable downfalls.

Shot of a young man using a cellphone while relaxing at home texting

Over the last 25 years, texting has dramatically changed the way we communicate. Back when the ‘mobile telephone’ was first introduced, social scientists of the early ’90s were skeptical. What is wrong with talking to someone in person? Or sending a letter?

Their main concern with this new technology was how texting eliminated nonverbal cues. Archaic as it seems, they may have been on to something. Several nonverbal cues are removed in text and email: eye contact, body language, volume, tone – just to name a few. That’s not even mentioning the difficulty of identifying things such as sarcasm, emotion, and of course, flirting!

The invention of texting revolutionized the way we communicated. We were able to send messages to people miles away in seconds. Not only did it change the way we communicated with one another, but it also changed things such as flirting! Suddenly, introverts, the ‘quiet ones’, had access to a form of communication that would allow them to communicate with romantic interests without the fear of getting rejected face-to-face.

Fast-forward to the present day – cell phones have invaded every aspect of our lives. Everyone has upgraded their flip phones for smartphones and instead of being charged 10 cents per text- it has become unlimited. We live in a world where it is not unusual to look around a room and see every single person looking at their phone.

It’s true, texting can make our lives a lot easier and many of us lean on it for the majority of our exchanges – late to a work meeting? Send a message. Want to know what’s for dinner? Send a message. Despite its ease, texting is no substitute for real and personable conversations.

As a matchmaker who helps some of the world’s most exceptional people to find love, my advice has always been the same: texting is best used for sending quick messages – especially if you are still getting to know someone. ‘Are you free for dinner tonight?’, ‘I am really looking forward to meeting you!’ Ditch the paragraphs and try to keep your messages light and to-the-point. You want the other person to get to know the real you, and the best way to do this is in person or at second-best – by a phone call or video call.

At Maclynn International, our matchmakers support their clients in the confusion that arises throughout texting and dating. If they are yet to meet their match or are planning a second date, we are there for our clients every step of the way. This is one place our expertise and experience come in handy; whether it is helping to identify what to say and how to say it or helping to decipher a message – which, with the increased use of abbreviations and emojis, is not always easy!

Everyone has different communication styles, and without facial cues and tone of voice, it is not always easy to understand the meaning of someone’s message. What someone may mean as a joke, could be misinterpreted as rude. Or if you see that they have read your message but haven’t responded, you may jump to conclusions that they aren’t interested in you. With all the possibility for misconceptions- it’s no surprise that texting can end a relationship before it has even begun.

My advice is to recognize the value of speaking in person, or, if this is not possible, over the phone. If for some reason, you find yourself in conflict with a partner, or potential partner, due to texting, don’t try to resolve it with more texting. Give them a call or instead, tell them you are confused and would prefer to talk in person. This will help bypass the potential drawbacks that can come with texting.

If you would like more advice – we are here to help! Our team of matchmakers and experts can assist you to navigate through the confusion that comes with modern-day dating. Contact us to find out more today.

by Gina Yannotta

Chief Operating Officer, New York City.

Gina Yannotta is Head Matchmaker & Chief Operating Officer at Maclynn International's New York office. Gina’s unyielding passion for the field, in combination with her extensive experience in matchmaking, has allowed her to orchestrate successful and everlasting relationships amongst her clients. Tasked with running the Manhattan office, Gina utilizes her interpersonal skills and relationship expertise to make a splash in the matchmaking pool, personally connecting her clients with their ultimate match while simultaneously taking advantage of the endless possibilities that NYC offers to its client-base.More by this author