Successful in Life, Unsuccessful in Love

25 Aug

Do you find that in most areas of your life you're thriving, yet you don't seem to be able to find that special someone to settle down with?

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From the outside looking in, your life appears to be perfect and going extremely well. You’ve got a gorgeous house and a very successful career, but on the inside, are you happy?

Do you find that in most areas of your life you’re thriving, yet you don’t seem to be able to find that special someone to settle down with?

An extremely common mistake people make is that they use the same aspects that allowed them to progress so successfully in their careers and transfer these skills into their personal relationships. Yet, while these skills can be extremely successful in environments such as the boardroom, the exact same skillset can often cause relationships to break down, or to not develop in the first place.

Your love life shouldn’t be approached with the same mindset as you do your job, no matter what your job may be. To become successful, you possess the depth of knowledge and ability to use it appropriately, and it becomes second nature for them to do things, make decisions, and solve problems. Within relationships, the mindset necessary is so different from that of a professional. Individuals often don’t know where to start as they usually revert back to their career mindset as that’s what they are used to. Although in your career the focus may lie upon how you can handle a boardroom when it comes to love, the focus needs to shift to the components that really matter, like values and building a connection.

To be successful at work, individuals often see their job as a series of obstacles that need to be thought through and overcome. Although doing this results in you being paid well and highly valued, if you allow this mindset to overflow from your career into your love life problems can often occur.

Here at Maclynn International, we see many clients who describe themselves as being successful in life but unsuccessful in love. Over the years we’ve picked up on several similarities and themes that are shared. So, do any apply to you?

  1. Approaching your love life in terms of objectives

At work, it’s important to have objectives that you work to complete. In your love life, however, it’s important to allow yourself to truly be emotionally present and not just have a tick list of things you want to achieve

  1. Always expecting a good outcome all of the time

Love and romance are complicated and there are always going to be ups and downs. Even the most compatible couples face problems and complications throughout their relationship. Expecting a good outcome 100% of the time is unrealistic and will only lead to disappointment.

  1. Having a plan in mind as to what the future looks like

In your job, it’s often important to think of the future and what you want it to be like. In terms of love, having a preconceived idea and picture in your head of what the future will be like is often a major downfall – it usually means that you’ll never truly be satisfied as someone’s never going to match up to the image you’ve created in your head no matter how compatible you really are.

  1. Being efficient with your time

When it comes to love and building and maintaining successful relationships, it doesn’t work if you’re on a tight schedule. Relationships need both individuals to dedicate time to talk things through without being rushed and to allow the emotional connection to really develop.

A relationship is made up of two individuals so it’s extremely important that you’re emotional, and that you let your partner into your thoughts and that they let you into theirs. Problems within relationships are very rarely solely caused by one individual – usually, both people are to blame at least to some extent, after all, it is a partnership. So, when it comes to building a successful relationship you need to take yourself out of your professional persona and put yourself into a new role = being a lover.

Whilst having a successful career is important to many individuals, studies suggest that one of the key ways of living a long and happy life is to be in a long term, loving relationship.

At Maclynn International, we work with exceptional and dynamic individuals who are successful in their chosen fields and are ready to find someone truly compatible to share their lives with. We get to know all our clients in-depth using our unique compatibility profiling tool and discuss what sort of person they envision themselves settling down with. If you’ve been focusing on your career and letting your love life take a back seat it’s time to give your love life some special attention. Let us help – get in touch today.

by Rachel Vida Maclynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida Maclynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation.More by this author

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