Relationship Dealbreakers

30 Jul

It's not uncommon to have 'a type'. However, it's also not uncommon fall in love with someone who isn't 'your type' so consider opening up your dealbreakers and you might be pleasantly surprised.

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Do you have a checklist when it comes to your dream partner? Would you say some of these characteristics or qualities are dealbreakers? It’s likely that as you grow older, some of your deal breakers have changed, some have become more important, and others are now non-existent. According to research, women are more likely to focus on the negative qualities in a man than they do on the positives, and once these traits have been identified it is likely to rule this man out all-together. Does it seem fair that a man can tick almost all of the boxes and be screened out at stage one? We can help you evaluate that one.

As a matchmaker, we build up a trusting and confidential relationship with our clients so that we can have an in-depth discussion about what they are looking for in a partner and why. It is important to know what you are looking for and it can be easy to doubt this when you feel as though you have screened all of your mutual connections and swiped through all of the apps.

Researchers have investigated the top deal breakers for long term relationships and found there to be around 15 common items that they feel determines the suitability of a partner. These include:

Anger issues or abuse

Dating multiple people ‘exclusively’

Untrustworthy

Already in a relationship or married

Has health issues or STD’s (sexually transmitted disease)

Has an alcohol or drug problem

Is inattentive or uncaring

Has poor hygiene

Is bad in bed

Is unattractive

Does not take care of themselves

Is racist or bigoted

Differing religious beliefs

Limited social status

Differing relationship goals

Understandably, some dealbreakers are more valid than others and some people will be clearer about what they are looking for than others. Is it wrong to think that differing relationship goals or them not taking care of themselves is a reason not to date someone?

It’s not uncommon to have a set idea of exactly the type of person that you would like to be with. However, it’s also not uncommon to develop feelings for someone that doesn’t fit ‘your type’, so consider opening up the field a little and you might be pleasantly surprised.  You may feel like you can be more flexible if you aren’t looking for a long-term relationship, but when it comes to thinking about the future it’s easier to aim for your ideal – because who wants to settle?

It’s important to understand why you have your deal breakers and what has led you to set your criteria in this way. Our matchmakers are on hand to help you work through this. Your age tends to have an impact on the criteria you have set for finding a partner, causing your dealbreakers to evolve over time as your priorities change. Some relationships may not survive the change in an individual’s values and desires as they get older. Whether your dealbreakers are about wanting children, being career-focused, or well-traveled- we have heard them all. Our matchmaking team is here to help you to navigate this crazy journey with one aim in mind, to find you a partner that does not come with a list of your deal-breakers. Speak to a member of our team today!

by Gina Yannotta

Chief Operating Officer, New York City.

Gina Yannotta is Head Matchmaker & Chief Operating Officer at Maclynn International's New York office. Gina’s unyielding passion for the field, in combination with her extensive experience in matchmaking, has allowed her to orchestrate successful and everlasting relationships amongst her clients. Tasked with running the Manhattan office, Gina utilizes her interpersonal skills and relationship expertise to make a splash in the matchmaking pool, personally connecting her clients with their ultimate match while simultaneously taking advantage of the endless possibilities that NYC offers to its client-base.More by this author