It’s a common enough motif in fiction, whether in a book or on the big screen: opposites attract.
Initially, you might wonder why it matters whether two people are opposites. After all, they’re in love — what else matters?
Fair point — but love doesn’t just stem from nowhere. It’s the product of a myriad of forces. And if you don’t share some fundamental values with your partner, love probably won’t form at all.
Recent research indicates that changes in personality can affect your values. How might this impact not only your relationships but also your wellbeing?
Personality traits and values
Our personality traits determine what we tend to be motivated to do in the absence of a strong influence. Values, on the other hands, are a little trickier to define. Psychologists Suzanne Smith and Raeann Hamon called values “appraisals of what is desirable, worthwhile and proper. Values lend meaning to life and help shape goals and provide direction.”
How do traits and values interact with one another and, even more intriguingly, how do changes in one affect the other?
In August 2019, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that traits and values do not change significantly over time (in this case, 5 years). However, personality traits change more. The researchers found that some traits are related directly to some values. For example, agreeableness is correlated with the value of prosociality (wanting to engage in communally beneficial positive actions). Conscientiousness correlates with conformity. Extraversion links up with the hedonism. Openness goes with self-direction.
What does all this mean?
Personality affects wellbeing
Changes in personality are better predictors of future values than vice versa. This led the researchers to conclude that personality traits have a bigger influence on values than values do on traits. Furthermore, traits appeared to influence a variety of measures of wellbeing. For example, individuals high in agreeableness, conscientiousness and extraversion tended to have higher wellbeing. Changes in personality predicted future measures of wellbeing more effectively than vice versa, strongly suggesting that personality directly affects wellbeing.
The implication of this study is that singles looking for love should seek those who share their deepest-held values in order to find a relationship that will enhance their wellbeing. But why would shared values lead to a successful relationship?
Love and happiness
As a matchmaker, I’m accustomed to clients seeking direction, guidance, and advice. Understanding their relationships goals is a surefire way of them successfully finding someone who shares their attitudes and outlook on life.
Romance is a mysterious beast, subject to the nuances embedded in every one of us. A cornerstone of Maclynn International’s matchmaking process is knowing what makes a client tick, then considering every potential match and analyzing their potential compatibility.
“Do they want children?” a client might ask me as they keenly peruse the profile of a potential match. “Will they mind that I’ve been married before?”
Certainly, most online platforms simply do not provide this information, which can have the pernicious effect of seeing people get together, only for them to discover late on that they have a deeply rooted compatibility issue. But how on earth are you meant to raise these topics with a stranger?
Matchmaking and wellbeing
Psychologists John Gottman and Nan Silver found that married couple who agree on their strongest-held values have significantly higher marital satisfaction. It’s research like this that truly solidified Maclynn International’s unique psychology-led process. We discuss with clients what they desire in a relationship and what kind of person they dream of settling down with. And what about their politics, religion, hobbies, career, and family? Do their attitudes towards these factors meld well with those of their potential match?
Our assessment-based character profiling rigorously analyses which of our members hold core values that most precisely complement those of our client. Our outstanding 85% success rate is testament to the fact that matching people based on shared values not only works but also enhances wellbeing far beyond expectation!
If you’re single and looking for love with someone incredible, a person who shares your outlook on life, your hopes and dreams, your sense of humor, look no further than Maclynn International. Get in touch today and one of our friendly team will set you on the path to finding that special someone.