Modern dating is far less rule-based than it used to be – and your prospective partner will have expectations of you to ensure that you are a good partner for them.
Compared to fifty years ago, when the man would be socially expected to make the first move, pay the bill, and take the reins of the date, modern dating rules are significantly more relaxed and casual. People are free to be themselves, but that doesn’t mean that men don’t still feel the pressure during a date.
Straight men typically have a difficult time articulating their feelings which, in turn, tends to mean that they struggle with flirting or asking for advice from their friends. In contrast, gay men tend to have more supportive friend bubbles which is a great asset when it comes to dating as they can freely ask for advice without the fear of being judged which straight men often experience.
Maclynn has been matchmaking clients with personalized, psychology-backed dating advice for years – all with proven results. Below, you’ll find our most successful dating tips for men from our dating experts that can help guide you on your way to a happy and successful long-term relationship.
3 Best Dating Tips for Men Looking to Find Love
Whether it’s gay men, men over 50, short men, tall men, shy men, or men over 40, men of all kinds experience the struggle that comes from modern dating. This dating advice for men works for all kinds of guys.
Put Yourself Out There
Meeting someone will become impossible if you don’t make yourself available and put yourself out there. Perhaps you’ve had your heart broken in the past and are afraid of it happening again, or perhaps you simply struggle with shyness. Whatever the reason, it is essential to work through these nerves. Make a commitment to yourself to meet new people.
The very nature of dating is a bit of a gamble. It’s nerve-wracking and risky, and it requires you to be a bit vulnerable. You have to open yourself up to new people, but, rather than avoiding it altogether, try to embrace it. Remember, you’re not the only one who will be nervous, and if you do end up on a date, you’ll both be in the same boat.
Pay Attention to Your Date
One of our favorite dating tips for men is to ask lots of questions about your date. Not only does this help if you struggle with shyness, but it also makes you appear more interested in your date. Nobody wants to be on a date with someone who talks about themselves the whole time. Just make sure you actually listen.
Whilst we’re on the topic of listening, make sure you aren’t constantly checking your phone. Scrolling through social media and reading messages signifies that your date doesn’t have your full attention and is a massive no-no. Just make sure to put your phone away.
Although it is great to ask lots of questions, just make sure you don’t delve too deep into their lives too soon. Make sure to keep the topic light by focusing on things like work, hobbies, music, and their hopeful travel plans. If they happen to bring up deeper topics, that’s absolutely fine, but appearing to overshare or peering too deep into someone’s personal life can seem too intrusive.
Meet People Online and in Real Life
If you’re from an older generation, where online dating wasn’t really a thing, you may be more inclined to meet people in person rather than awkwardly attempting to fit into the unknown world of online dating apps. In contrast to this, for younger people, the thought of striking up conversation with a stranger in the real world may be downright mortifying. So, what’s the best approach?
In truth, we believe that the best way to meet someone is a combination of the two. Make sure to sign up for some online dating services and, at the same time, make an effort to be more sociable and meet people in real life – especially if you feel a spark when speaking to someone.
If talking to strangers at a bar or a club isn’t your thing, try putting yourself out there in other ways. Go to the gym, do your work in a cafe, join a book club; make yourself more approachable in general and make sure you aren’t trying to force one of those cheesy rom-com moments.
3 of the Best Dating Tips for Gay Men
The gay dating scene is extremely different from the straight dating scene. It can feel a lot more judgemental, and hookup culture is very common within the community. Because of this, it’s a great idea to expand your horizons from the people you’re dating to the apps you’re using.
See our 3 best dating tips for day men below.
Date Outside of Your “Type”
Gay men, more than straight men, are lovers of types and preferences. The community often categorises people into different types which can also be filtered out on gay dating apps.
Now, while there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to guys to look or present a certain way, it can present as problematic if you’re ruling out whole groups of people if they don’t conform exactly to what you’re looking for.
It’s a great idea to make yourself open to all types of people. Not only will this exponentially expand your options, but you may find yourself being extremely attracted to someone who wouldn’t have even been on your radar before.
Know the Reputation of the Dating Apps You’re Using
Guys have met through online apps like Grindr. They have even dated and gotten married. This does happen, but it is good to set your expectations based on the reputation of the apps you’re using.
Apps like Grindr are typically used for more casual encounters and hookups, so, as a general rule, people tend to avoid looking for more serious encounters on Grindr due to this reputation. However, apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge are typically reserved for guys looking for more serious relationships.
Make Sure you’re Both on the Same Page
There isn’t a single agreed-upon definition of dating – and in the gay community, dating can be quite confusing. The definition can vary from person to person, and the amount of seriousness and commitment implied with the term “dating” will depend on who you ask.
Some people use the term “dating” loosely, to define casual relationships, friends with benefits, and other kinds of situationships, while others reserve it for dynamics with more intimacy and commitment. Figuring out what dating means to you can help you to determine what is the right thing for you.
In addition to this, it’s a good idea to define what you and your date want from each other before you waste each other’s time. The good news is that there isn’t a single right or wrong time to bring up the seriousness of your relationship, but it is important for the both of you to be upfront so that you don’t spend time on something that isn’t going to head in the right direction for either of you.
Dating Tips for Men Over 50
Dating at ages over 40 and 50 can prove to be a challenge for some, especially if they’ve previously had a long-term partner and children. When you find yourself ready to begin dating again, we highly recommend following the below to ensure you have the smoothest transition into the dating world.
Freshen up your Wardrobe
Getting back into the dating scene at a later age is a fantastic excuse to clear out your wardrobe from things you either don’t wear anymore or simply look too antiquated to be appealing on a date. It’s absolutely fine to have your comfy clothes, but this isn’t what you should be wearing on a date.
Donate or sell some of the garments you don’t wear anymore and pick up some stylish, well-fitting items that make you feel confident. This doesn’t mean not dressing your age or stepping outside your comfort zone.
A good quality set of non-work essentials is a great place to start: a smart coat or “shacket” (a shirt-like jacket), a good pair of blue or black jeans, perhaps some tailored trousers, a stylish pair of shoes, and a good sweater. All of these are wardrobe staples, timeless pieces that will never go out of fashion, and feeling good in new and stylish clothes can do wonders for your self-confidence.
If you’re fairly clueless about fashion, consider hiring a one-time personal shopper or stylist. They can sit with you in a comfortable environment whilst they scour the rails for you to find clothes that not only suit your body type but your personality too.
Open Up to Family and Friends
It isn’t unusual for people in their fifties and older to feel self-conscious about dating, or getting back into dating. You may have grown-up children or you may feel disloyal – especially if your previous partner has passed away. Having a good support network, built from your family and friends, is vital to help you build your confidence again.
If you’re finding it difficult to tell your children that you’re thinking of putting yourself out there again, just remember that it is always best to be honest.
Whilst you don’t need to fill them in with the details about every text you and a prospective partner send each other, it is important to fill them in with the big things happening in your life. Who knows, they may even be able to help you navigate the modern way of dating.
Take Your Time
Always remember that it is absolutely okay to take things slowly. While navigating sex and new relationships may not be a brand new experience for you, it can take some time to become comfortable with a new person – especially if you were in a relationship with someone for many years prior.
Above all else, remember that there is no rush to meet somebody. It is always better to wait for the right person with whom you have the right connection than to force something that’s not working.
3 Quality Dating Tips for Short Men
Letting insecurities take over your dating life can prove debilitating. Thankfully, there are ways to remedy this: namely, realizing that not every one of your prospective partners is outwardly going to shame you for your height.
Below, we detail our best dating tips for short men to get the best out of dating.
Tighten Up Your Wardrobe
One of the biggest mistakes a shorter person can make is dressing in a way that emphasizes their biggest insecurity. Rather than wearing garments that are too long, suits that are drowning your body, or shirts that are bunching around your waist, go for a more streamlined look.
One way to achieve this is to get your current clothes tailored so that they can more appropriately suit your figure. Wearing clothes that are too big can only exacerbate the problem. Another solution is to simply purchase new clothes that actually fit. Make sure to get your accurate body measurements and scour the web for some fashionable clothes, making sure to choose the options that will fit your height.
In addition to this, a more streamlined look can be achieved by wearing tops and bottoms that are similar shades within your outfit. Opt for a darker shirt with your dark jeans and compliment them with appropriate accessories.
Don’t Lie About Your Height
Online dating can be a minefield for shorter men but, if someone asks you about your height, don’t lie and say you’re 6 feet tall – you’ll only set yourself up for failure. At the most, you can round up to the nearest inch, but any sort of dishonesty will create a trust issue between you and your potential partner.
There is no reason to lie about your height online, and it can make you appear significantly more insecure about your height. Instead, simply display your height in your profile. This way, you’ll be upfront and honest with who you are, leading the right person to come along at the right time.
Don’t Let Your Insecurities Get the Best of You
Confidence is the key to a good first impression so, if you assume right off the bat that your date won’t like you because of your height, they probably will be turned off due to your insecurity.
In order to feel more confident, especially when you feel so insecure about something like your height, remember the qualities about yourself that make you a catch and draw their focus to them.
Dating Tips for Shy Men
Dealing with shyness while dating can be quite a big issue. Shyness can cause you to cancel dates or act in a certain way in order to overcome your shyness, often leading to unpleasant behaviors which can be a red flag for your date. Below, we explain the best dating tips for shy men so you can get the best out of your dating experience.
Don’t Be the “Nice Guy”
The fact that you’re a nice person should not be your only personality trait. Simply being polite and courteous to people is the bare minimum that is required of anybody. However, if you are nice, you’re probably doing better than most of the competition, but remember that simply being nice does not make you an interesting man.
Develop a personality and make sure it shines through. Sure, you may be attractive, but what else is there? You want to make an impression on your prospective partner and, at the end of the date, they should be able to say something other than “he was nice”.
Don’t Cancel Plans
Dating for shy men can get difficult as the development of anxiety around the date at the last minute can cause you to cancel the date altogether. Make sure you avoid doing that.
Although one of the best feelings for an introvert is when plans get canceled, ensure you don’t do this too often as it can be dangerous for your dating and social life. Try your best not to cancel plans altogether, or make sure you make up for it if you do cancel.
When dating, your partner needs to know that they can rely on your word; so do your best to stick to any plans you make even if you suddenly aren’t in the mood for it.
Try Not to Overthink Things
Overthinking is something that a lot of shy people and introverts do very often. You may get stuck on a particular train of thought and latch on to one particular detail, causing an increasing amount of stress by thinking about unrealistic scenarios. In addition to this, you may be dealing with new relationship anxiety.
We know it can be hard, but try your best not to overthink dating. Although it can be very easy to get stuck in your own head, and on one specific train of thought, panicking about things that are out of your control doesn’t help the situation in the slightest.
Make sure to focus on the positive aspects of your date instead. It can be far more productive and make you appear as a more positive person.
Discover Maclynn’s Personalized Matchmaking Services
Dating can be difficult in this day and age. Whether you work an intense full-time job and simply don’t have the time to meet new people, or you just don’t understand the world of online dating, our expert team of matchmakers and dating experts are here to help.
We use proven psychological techniques which are used to design bespoke profiles of each of our exclusive members – getting to the core of who they truly are and what they are looking for to achieve lasting love. You can make a positive change in your life and begin dating within a pool of exceptional singles.