Getting back out on the dating scene after a divorce can feel like a daunting experience. The once carefree person you were in your 20s or 30s, might not be feeling quite so confident right now. No doubt you frequently hear horror stories about how tough the dating landscape is these days, and this might leave you feeling understandably bewildered about how to navigate the new world in front of you.
First of all, don’t panic. Yes, the dating scene will be different than before, but we are adaptable creatures and there is a lot you can do to help yourself. Here are our top tips on how to get back out there:
Give Yourself Time
No doubt you have been through a turbulent time both emotionally and financially after divorce. Separating out intertwined lives is not easy so even if it was for the best, make sure you take time to heal properly. Take a proper sabbatical from dating to make sure you are fully over your last relationship.
To help accelerate this process, why not enlist the help of a therapist or dating coach to help you realize what you did and didn’t like about your last relationship? It will also help crystallize what you do want to find in a new partner. If you have been together with someone for a while your new partner is likely one that will see you into later life so focus less on the superficial, such as looks, and more on the qualities that endure, such as shared hobbies, passions and underlying values that define you.
Make some changes
There’s nothing like having a bit of a shakeup to make you feel new and invigorated, so make a change. It might be time for a wardrobe change, a new hair color, or hitting the gym to get into shape. Whatever it is, this is the time to mix things up and start being the best version of you.
Date for fun
It’s unlikely, and probably not healthy, to go headfirst into the next relationship that comes your way. Set yourself a realistic plan to start with; you are going to date to get back into the swing of things and get ‘match fit’. This takes the pressure off those first dates, and it allows you to just get out there meeting new people again.
Widen your circles
There is always the inevitable carving up of friends post-divorce, and as difficult as that can be, take the opportunity to grow your social network with new, interesting, and like-minded people. This can be through friends, work, or singles and networking events.
Have a sense of humor
It can be tough getting out there again, so make sure you grow a thick skin and maintain your sense of humor. You will, no doubt, have some disastrous dates but chalk it up to experience, don’t take it personally, and drive on. Every experience in life is a lesson learned, and even better if we can smile our way through it!
As experts in the field, we’re here to help hopeful romantics in any way we can. Get in touch to schedule a call with someone from our team to learn how we can best assist you in the search for “the one”, whether through our matchmaking services or our date coaching.
