When you’re in an exciting new relationship, you may wonder if your whirlwind romance is moving too fast yet not press the pause button to stop look and think. Not to say that you should squash or overanalyze, but what do you do if you find yourself in your very own Hollywood romcom where it seems dizzying and so drenched in your whirlwind romance that you aren’t sure you can even breathe.
What are the signs that you might be moving too fast?
Seeing each other multiple times in a week from the start. An urgent need to introduce each other to your best friends or your whole friends gang for full on laser scanner reviews. Mapping out the summer social calendar immediately and notifying friends that you are definitely a plus one for parties, weddings, and weekends away when you only just met last Thursday. Sunday dinner with the family a month in.
Perhaps they have already moved to saying “I love you” and you are not even ready yet. If you or they are just out of a relationship, you may have spent hours oversharing way too much information. Instead of enjoying a lovely leisurely slow reveal, the need to take you on a detailed tour of life up to now is a definite case of oversharing.
How about excessive generosity with lavish over the top gestures or gifts that make you feel incredibly obligated? Ultimately, real love resides in simplicity and demonstrating your love not in grand gestures but in words and actions. In a time of social media, does your whirlwind romance also include excessive and daily posts that shouts your fledgling relationship out into the wider world?
This doesn’t mean it isn’t possible to “meet the one” in an “I absolutely know this is the one” moment, but how much of yourself are you investing in this right here right now, and are you giving yourself space? What happens when the whirlwind romance dies down and realities and mundane affairs of life start to appear and intrude on the romcom narrative? Even the very word “whirlwind” indicates a sense of unbalance and not being grounded, giddy with love.
What to do if you find yourself in a whirlwind romance?
To recentre, it’s important to take time and space back for yourself but not by suddenly slamming on the breaks. If the relationship is to continue, now is the time to practice leaning into the discomfort of difficult conversations in order to not develop resentment. If you take time to be physically apart for a week or a weekend, watch that you are not still in a whirlwind of texting to appease any insecurity.
The getting to know you phases includes testing how safe or vulnerable you feel when you are not together. Does jealousy exist about the time you spend with people in your life before this person even appeared? Maturity and pace are required if you are serious about making a relationship really work. The getting to know each other is so important and requires time to really firm a solid foundation.
Expert advice and help
At Maclynn, we are known experts in the psychology of relationships and provide all the support required before and during dating to ensure that you are on the right track. Having professional relationship coaching with us means that someone is completely focused on your whirlwind romance success from a position of non-bias. We sometimes run workshops to support our members, but the best way forward is in the confidential and private space of being a client. Be in touch with us now to learn more.
In the meantime, if your dating weather forecast indicates a whirlwind romance, wonderful but make sure you are prepared and baton down the heart strings.