Do you go out on lots of first dates but rarely meet the same person for a second date? Lack of chemistry could be to blame but it’s also possible that you may be making some dating mistakes that you’ve never even thought about. These bad habits could unfortunately be the reason that your first dates never develop into something more. The good news is they are easy to fix. Follow these top dating tips and you’ll be sure to increase your chances of getting a second (and maybe even a third) date with that special someone!
Don’t let the first date become an interview
When we get nervous it can be easy to fall into the trap of grilling our first date with a million questions. While it’s great to take an interest in someone to get to know them– don’t just fire off a dozen questions, it makes the other person feel like they are being interviews and puts them under pressure. It’s better to ask a handful of questions and really take the time to actively listen to the answers. Active listening is hard to do when we are nervous, but it’s better to slow the questions down and really enjoy hearing the answers.
Don’t drink too much to calm your nerves
While having a drink (or two max!) can be a good idea to steady the nerves and relax you a little before a first date, this is not the time to re-live your college days and start binge drinking on your date. Alcohol causes disinhibition which means that you are more likely to overshare and reveal too much or say something you’ll regret in the morning. Alcohol also affects our memory, making it harder to remember what has been said and no one wants to look like the fool on the second date (if you clinch one!) asking the same questions again!
Click here for another interesting article on how to be the best date you can be when you meet someone for the first time.
Don’t just talk about work
Work can definitely be an easy topic to get the date off the ground with but this is not the time to start telling your first date every single detail of your working schedule (unless of course they are genuinely fascinated) nor is this the time to walk your date through every promotion you had. Sure it’s attractive to hear that someone loves their job and is passionate about it but hearing the ins and outs of their latest raise may sound like bragging. The ideal balance is to sound passionate and enthusiastic about work but remember that once you said your bit it’s time to ask your date something about themselves.
Don’t overshare on your first date
Being open and authentic on your first date with someone is important but carefully consider an appropriate amount of disclosure about your personal life- especially your dating history- on the first date. Do they need to know the saga of your terrible cheating ex-partner, or is that story something that could wait until you know someone better? This doesn’t mean that you need to lie or conceal the truth but it is more about staggering how much you reveal at once. This can also help reduce the feeling of an ‘overshare hangover’ with someone the next day- if you pour your heart and never hear back this can leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable.
Give people a chance
In the modern world of dating where there are hundreds of apps (and therefore dating options) at our disposal, it is easy to dismiss potential matches very quickly based on tiny misdemeanors. Try not to discard people too easily, give them a chance, see if they can redeem themselves, and remember there is a lot that gets lost in translation over texting. Ask yourself if it’s possible that there has been a misunderstanding and try and give people the benefit of the doubt until you know them better.
We know dating can be challenging but we’re here to help! Get in touch with us today and see how Maclynn International can guide you through the dating experience!