The Loneliness of Social Isolation: Why Romantic Connection is Essential

23 Sep

We all require different degrees of social interaction and connection. Some of us are social butterflies, flitting our way through the seas of people, finding pleasure in the wonderful opportunities presented by simply interacting with another person. While others find themselves exhausted by the waves of energy emitted by other people, wishing to remain in the comfort of their home exploring the world of their own mind. Still yet, there are the remaining individuals that fall somewhere in between, juggling their desire to interact with others and wanting to find solace in their solitude.

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Regardless of our preferences, considering recent events amid the pandemic, many of us have realized that there is a certain level of social interaction that we intrinsically need. When given the choice, we had the ability to be more selective but now as a direct result of social distancing requirements and a forced sense of isolation, we have been unwillingly transitioned into social deprivation. It is during this time when we truly began to realize the negative effects of the lack of connection.

In the quest for love and connection, there is even more of a void. Beyond our feelings of isolation from others in general, we have a strong desire for love, to make an unbreakable bond with another person and develop a partnership founded on trust.

During these times, it is as if the fact that we are not in love becomes even more apparent. Questions begin to surface such as: What have I been doing this entire time? Am I lonely? Why do I feel incomplete without a relationship? Is the relationship I’m in now the best relationship for me? Maybe it was even the pandemic that forced us to break ties that we thought were strong enough to withstand these stressful moments. The pandemic has caused us to question many things, particularly our relationships and wellbeing.

It is not a surprise that we feel this pull to connect with other people. We are wired to connect with others as the social beings that we are. It is the connection with others that allows us to do so many incredible things such as create efficient systems for the sustainment of our species, build networks that not only bring people together but support essential functions, expand our horizons, explore new territories, and advance our knowledge and expertise. Without each other, we would literally be lost.

Without love, we feel as if something is missing. This emptiness and sense of loneliness, as you would expect, negatively affects our health and life satisfaction. Then when you take into consideration the added stress due to the changes we have had to make during the pandemic, we realize that a support system is exactly what we need. Ironically, when circumstances bring us down what is the first thing we typically want to do? Connect with someone to share in and relieve our pain.  If we are unable to reach anyone at all, we tend to turn inwardly and often that is not the easiest. It is true for most of us that in times of stress, we often just need a helping hand.

When we find that we can barely reach those that we are closest with, how are we supposed to seek out new relationships? What can we do to help alleviate the longing that we feel for a romantic relationship and to experience love?

According to Emma Seppälä, Ph.D., science director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education and the author of The Happiness Track, we are all alone in the sense that we are independent entities with our own thoughts, feelings, and experiences but also intricately interconnected with every other human being.

To wholeheartedly connect with others, we must first connect fully with ourselves. We must honor our emotions, experience moments of comfortable silence within ourselves, and learn to observe our thoughts, sensations, and emotions without trying to control them. Many of us fear looking inwards, anxious about what they might find. However, it is this exploration and eventual healing that allows us to be more open to love.

Once you’ve had the chance to truly sit with yourself and identify your needs and desires, you may feel that you’re ready to pursue a commitment with another special individual but are not exactly sure where to begin. We would be happy to dedicate our expertise and global reaches, to connect you with an exceptional individual like yourself. If you find that you still have some internal work to do, if you are struggling with connection our date and relationship coaching could be a wonderful place to begin. Get in touch today as our committed dating experts are ready to guide you in putting your truest self out there.

by Angela Bova

Matchmaker

Angela was born in New York and raised in New Jersey. She has an extensive background in psychology and neuropsychology, earning both her BA in Psychology and MA in Clinical Psychology from Montclair State University. Following graduate school, she worked as a research assistant in a neuroscience and neuropsychology laboratory and more recently as a psychometrist for a neuropsychology private practice. Angela is distinctly perceptive about human nature and the mind and is passionate about what makes individuals unique. This passion along with her education and training in both psychology and neuropsychology, endows her with keen insight into the key assets that make quality connections.More by this author