Is the Grass Greener?

01 Jul

We always want what we can't have. In relationship terms, this is definitely not a good thing. Would things be better with them? Is the grass greener on the other side?

Low-spirited man propping his head with his fist, wondering if the grass is greener

So, you’re in a relationship with someone you think could be the “one” but then, out of the blue, someone else comes along who you think you may have a better connection with. This can lead to temptation and leave yourself questioning; would things be better with them? Is the grass greener on the other side?

In life, there are lots of choices to be made and many times, once we’ve made a choice, suddenly the other options start to become more appealing. We always want what we can’t have. In relationship terms, this is definitely not a good thing. Even when we’re in a healthy, happy relationship the prospect of thinking that things could be better with someone else and letting ourselves think about what that might look like, can demolish the strong foundations of even the most compatible couples.

Online dating, which continues to become more popular, plays a massive role in this thought process. When you’re online dating, it creates the illusion that there are thousands of suitable single individuals out there who are all just a click or swipe away. This allows us to believe that we have an almost infinite number of options for a partner and often creates the illusion that their perfect person is out there somewhere. Sorry to break it to you, the perfect person doesn’t exist- and even though there are thousands of singles out there, the reality is, that most of them won’t share the same values and visions for the future as you- meaning they will not be compatible.

Interestingly enough, there doesn’t even have to be another person in the picture to make you question whether the grass is greener – a study showed that simply the idea that you can find someone else who you may have a better relationship with is enough to end a relationship and cause a breakup. So, it’s not even about whether you’re thinking of exploring things with someone else, it’s enough just for you to think that there may be someone better out there.
It’s easy to think that when you start a new relationship, things will be more successful than the one you’re currently in. Most likely, the new relationship will have the same issues that the other one had as well. Just because you’re with someone new, the relationship can still require the same effort and work that was required in the past relationship. More often than not, it’s worth working on what you have instead of trying to find someone new.

The harsh reality is that no relationship is always going to feel like a fairy tale. Life is tough and with it comes the stress of work, family, friends, money, etc which can all create bumps in even the most compatible of couples. The relationships that end up being the strongest are usually those who get through these bumps in the road together and remain at each other’s side in the end.

Despite these bumps, it’s definitely possible to keep the spark alive and the magic present in a relationship. If you’re struggling to do this then take yourself back to the initial few months with your partner and the reasons as to why you fell in love with them.

Don’t be tempted by the other side, after all, isn’t the actual saying that the grass isn’t always greener…?

Here at Maclynn International, we work with remarkable and exceptional individuals who are really looking to find their truly compatible life partner to spend their life with. Using our psychological expertise and unique compatibility profiling tool we thrive on getting people into meaningful, long-lasting relationships. Contact us today to see how we can help.

by Rachel Vida Maclynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida Maclynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation.More by this author

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