With online dating, apps, and social media, we’re in a digital age of dating. In our view, one of the positives of this is the ability to create connections virtually if needed.
Whether that’s because you work internationally—many of our members are professionals open to the possibility of meeting someone outside their home city—or you’d simply prefer to speak via a video call before meeting, video first dates via Zoom, FaceTime, WhatsApp and Skype are far from rare. They’ve become a great way to get to know someone before arranging a date in person.
Here are our tips to ensure you’re all set for your virtual first date (and beyond!)
10 Matchmaker Tips for Successful Virtual Dates
1. Choose the right backdrop
The ambiance of a bar or restaurant can set the tone of a date, and it’s equally important when it comes to virtual dates. Choose a space that is tidy, well-lit, and well-decorated and make sure you are not pointing the camera at your bathroom or a pile of dirty washing.
2. Dress up
Get ready just like you would for an actual date. You may feel like staying in sweats and yoga pants, but dressing up a bit will put you in the right mood and will make the whole experience feel more special and more like a real date.
3. Set your laptop at eye level
It makes for a more flattering angle than looking up at your chin or down on top of your head.
4. Choose the right lighting
If you’re chatting during the day, face outwards towards a window to get good natural light. If you’re ‘meeting’ in the evening, put a lamp behind the screen so you’re well-lit.
5. Do a video and sound check
This will allow you to see what you’ll look like in the camera, test out your facial expressions and smiles, and will ensure that the date goes smoothly, without any technical hiccups.
6. Make your favorite drink
A cocktail, mocktail, or tea will make it feel more like a real date. It will also give you something to do with your hands if you feel nervous.
7. Have fun!
Don’t let the newness of a video date dominate the conversation. You want the other person to walk away feeling happy and excited, so choose topics that focus on positive and fun things, like your travels, interests, the latest podcast you listened to, or a book you read recently.
8. Schedule another date
If the first chat goes well, do tell your date you’d like to meet again—whether in person this time or virtually again. You can stick to another easy conversation over a drink or a coffee, or plan an activity, like cooking a meal together.
9. Plan for the future
If you’re based in different cities and will have some time apart before you can feasibly meet offline, keep the conversation exciting by discussing what activities or restaurants you’d like to enjoy together when you can finally meet in person.
10. Have a polite exit strategy
You shouldn’t feel you need to stay on the call if the conversation has fizzled out or you realize you have nothing in common—or indeed, if you feel uncomfortable. Mentioning a time limit when you’re scheduling the video date is effective, as that will give you a natural way out.
You could say “I’d love to FaceTime at 7:00, but just a heads up I have to do X at 7:30”. You can use just about any reason with a hint of urgency, from letting the dog out or starting dinner to calling your mom. “I have another call coming up” is perfect if you don’t want to invent a reason, and thanks to the vagueness of “coming up,” it’s also likely 100% truthful.
How Long Should a Virtual Date Last?
In-person activities tend to provide a natural timeframe for a date, such as the time it takes to share a meal, visit an art gallery, or go for a stroll around your local park. You might wonder, then, how long a virtual date should last when there are no clear prompts to end the call.
However, there is no right or wrong answer to this—it’s entirely personal to you and your date.
As a guideline, we think half an hour is a good starting point to begin with. This allows time to connect and get to know your date, without the call becoming too draining. Then, if you feel an initial spark or interest, you can plan your next call for a longer duration—45 minutes to an hour, perhaps—to begin building a deeper connection, preparing for when you eventually meet in person.
The Psychological Benefits of a Virtual Date
We’re all different and prefer to date in our own unique way, but it’s true that virtual dating can offer benefits that enhance the dating process for many—especially in the initial stages of a relationship. This could include:
- Reduced Social Anxiety: Virtual dates can significantly lessen the pressure and anxiety associated with face-to-face meetings. Without the physical presence of the other person, you might feel more comfortable and less intimidated, allowing you to express yourself more freely and genuinely.
- Emotional Connection: A focus on emotional and intellectual connection, rather than physical, earlier in the relationship can lay strong foundations for future interactions. Virtual conversations might encourage daters to venture deeper into personalities, interests, and values with more confidence.
- A Controlled Environment: Engaging in a virtual date from the comfort of your own home will allow you to control your environment. This can make the dating experience feel more relaxed and predictable, leading to a greater sense of security and personal ease during interactions.
- Pacing the Relationship: Virtual dates naturally slow down the pace of a relationship, giving both you and your date more time to process your feelings and the interaction. This slower pace can lead to more thoughtful and deliberate decisions about whether to pursue a relationship further.
- Added Convenience: For professionals with busy schedules or an international career, virtual dates are an accessible and convenient way to meet new people, removing geographical barriers and expanding the pool of potential partners beyond local boundaries.
Find Love on Your Terms with Maclynn
Even though a date over a video call may not be quite the same as in person, it can still be a great way to spend time together and there are many benefits to getting to know someone slowly. Make the most of this time and if you connect, there’s a good chance that you’ll enjoy their company in real life too!
If you feel like you’ve exhausted all your mutual connections and dating apps to find ‘the one’, get in touch with our team at Maclynn. Our exclusive NYC and LA matchmakers, coaches, and relationship experts can assist you in your journey, introducing you to compatible connections from our international dating network.
Get in touch with us to learn more about our private matchmaking services today.
