You might not be dissatisfied or unhappy with your relationship—but knowing when “this is it” and that the time has come to settle down can be tough. The prospect of a lifelong commitment to this person might feel daunting. That may not even be a reflection on them in any way, but rather merely on the gravity of the decision.

You might find yourself in internal conflict: “Could there be someone out there who’s more right for me, who I would love more? But then what if I left this relationship only to wind up realizing it was the best I’d ever have? And what if I’m always going to feel this way, no matter who I’m with?”

It was easier in the not-so-distant past. Our ancestors were born and raised and forever remained in relatively small and tightknit communities. They weren’t exposed to seemingly endless romantic choices. But with the twin developments of migration away from the family and the explosion of technology, modern singles can scour literally hundreds of potential dates in an hour from the comfort of their own home. The freedom we have to explore infinite possibilities often serves only to overwhelm us with feeling that we’re making the wrong choice in partner. If this is you, I’d like to take just a few minutes to help you see whether you really have settled with the right person—and why, if not, it’s better to know than to sweep that fact under the rug.

1. Being together makes you want to be the best version of yourself

You know they’re not perfect—and they sure as hell know that you’re not perfect either—but having them in your life motivates you to improve, not only for your own sake—and not even only for theirs—but for the sake of your relationship unto itself. Because it’s the foundation of your existence, and you can’t imagine life without your love in it.

2. You don’t feel you’re “chasing” the relationship’s potential

‘If we had different jobs’… ‘If we had a dog’… ‘If we had more similar interests’… If you haven’t expressed sentiments like these yourself, you probably have a friend who does while lamenting the state of their relationship. But the truth is, deep down you know that even if these conditions were “fixed” (whatever that means), the relationship wouldn’t suddenly be “solved.” Why? Because these issues, while indeed being issues, are simply manifestations of the single fundamental issue underpinning them all and the entirety of your relationship: You just aren’t right for each other. A successful relationship isn’t about the what-ifs, but the what-is.

3. You trust each other implicitly

It’s got to the point where you never even question whether your partner might do something to hurt you. You simply know they won’t—or rather, you live your life as if they won’t, like they’ve got your back no matter what and will always be there when you need them. You’re so in tune with each other that there’s never a time when you struggle to express how you feel. The mutual understanding is intuitive. You know what the other means even when they don’t utter a word. 

4. You are the other’s life plan—and that suits you just fine

You’ve had every Big Conversation imaginable: religion, politics, finances, marriage, children. And after all that you’re still together? Wow. That’s some top-notch compatibility right there. Sharing values and outlooks is the bedrock to a happy and successful lifelong relationship. It’s what ties your lives so intimately and inextricably together, and stops you drifting apart even when the winds of time and change transmorph into storms.

5. You don’t feel you need to change each other

You’ve seen each other at your worst, yet you still love one another like crazy. In fact, the intensity of that love is perhaps even because you’ve been through so much together. Sure they have quirks that get on your nerves from time to time, but ultimately they only render your partner ever more endearing. Your adoration for them deepens not in spite of their foibles, but because of them. And you know what? When you think about them, you smile—and you think, “There really isn’t a single thing I’d change about them.”

Maclynn is a boutique, multi-award-winning introductions agency with offices in New York, New Jersey, California, and London. We’re world-renowned for bringing together highly compatible singles within our vast network of attractive, intelligent professionals, and our matchmakers are relationship experts in their own right. Get in touch today, and prepare for genuinely meaningful dating—just like you deserve.