Whether you just came out of a decades-long relationship or you’ve been single for a while now, approaching the dating scene in your 40’s can be a daunting prospect at the best of times.
Looking for second-time love as a divorcee or even for your first love after years of searching can be fraught with worry and anxiety the older you get. With increased life experience inevitably comes aspects of your life that can complicate romance, such as career, children and your relationship history, all of which may affect the way you perceive and approach romance.
All that being said, hope is far from lost if you’re in your 40’s and seriously looking to date! Sure, you may no longer enjoy going to clubs and talking with random strangers until 4 am (although kudos if that’s your thing — I personally lost the energy for those kind of shenanigans about 20 years ago!), but there are many ways of meeting eligible singletons that are both time-efficient and easy for the nervous dater.
1) Online dating
Finding love on the internet has revolutionized the dating scene, of that there is no doubt. Paid sites, such as Guardian Soulmates, EliteSingles, eHarmony and Match are generally considered to attract those individuals who are taking their quest for love more seriously, but freemium apps such as Tinder, Bumble and Happn also have certain things going for them, not least that they’re unbelievably efficient to use.
Online dating is an effective way of meeting singletons who match certain criteria you’re looking for, but the medium is inherently one-dimensional. Even if you’re getting on like a house on fire over the chat, it’s not until you meet in person that you’ll actually have any idea whatsoever if there’s chemistry. Be choosy, and trust your instincts about a person. Your time is far too valuable for time wasters.
2) Hobbies and pastimes
What is something you’ve always wanted to do but could never quite find the time for? Well, if you’re able to make time for it, not only are you giving your emotional well-being some serious nurturing, but you will also meet individuals with whom you have something in common from the get-go.
Depending on where you live, you may find there to be numerous events you could attend, such as wine tasting, seasonal parties, talks, debates, exhibitions and fairs, not to mention speed dating nights and singles’ evenings. Take a friend along for moral support and make an occasion out of it! And if you’re in need of a little inspiration, Eventbrite and Meetup are fabulous directories for any and all events in your area.
Getting out of your comfort zone and placing yourself in an unfamiliar environment can be stimulating on so many levels, not to mention make you far more sociable than you might otherwise be at home. Freeing yourself from the shackles of your day-to-day will allow you to blossom and be at your best, which will ultimately manifest in your attractiveness and transform the way people perceive you.
Now sure, I may be biased, but it’s tough to argue against matchmaking being the best way to meet a partner. This is often even more the case when you’re in your 40s, when people are generally a lot more serious about finding someone special to settle down with. Matchmaking is discreet, highly personalized and based around your core values and specifically what you’re seeking in a partner. Think quality, not quantity.
Dating and love is just around the corner
Self-sabotage is common for the reluctantly single. It usually comes in the form of negative assumptions, such as telling yourself that you’re not good enough or that your baggage will be too off-putting to a potential partner. Take time out to reflect on precisely what is holding you back, then consider all the ways in which those subconscious self-putdowns are actually totally untrue. Furthermore, act as if the assumption were in fact the diametric opposite of the truth. For example, if you tell yourself there are actually amazing singletons out there just waiting to be found, as opposed to stubbornly refusing to believe that anyone would be interested in you because you’re in your 40s, how might that change your outlook and behavior on the dating scene?
Contact us today and let our experienced matchmakers usher you along the path to true love.