Dating for the Over 40’s in a Modern World

29 Oct

40 is the new 30, but is dating over 40 the same as your 20’s or 30’s? Is it a second chapter, a third relationship, or the first time you’re approaching the dating scene with serious intention?

Mature couple are drinking hot drinks in a town christmas market dating

Hitting the dating scene in your 40s or above is likely to be a different experience than when you were younger, without a care in the world! It’s likely there are more factors added into the mix than before as well. Whether it be the effect of splitting up from a long-term relationship, getting divorced, or having children to consider when meeting someone new. Relationships, and indeed marriages the second time around can often be much more successful and fruitful because you’ve had more experience and understanding about what you truly want. This is our advice to make sure you get the most out of dating again:

Be clear about what you want

It’s likely when you met your partner earlier on in life you didn’t think about how compatible you were. Did you assess whether your core values were aligned? Probably not. Now, it’s time to think about all the experiences you have amassed over time and reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself.  For example, what are the values that you live by? What are your deal breakers for a new relationship, things you want/don’t want in a partner? Do you have any preferences regarding their hobbies, lifestyle, family, etc.? Having a clear idea about what you’re looking for in a partner will save you from wasting your time and energy with someone that will not be compatible with you.

Talk to someone

At Maclynn International, we have a whole team of matchmakers who are experienced psychologists and relationship coaches ready to talk to you about your relationship history. Perhaps it’s time to put some of those ghosts to bed and be sure you are not taking old relationship stuff into your next one. Can you make peace with what went wrong, learn from it, and take a positive attitude for next time? What would you like to be different this time around? Talking to friends and family can be helpful but sometimes having a professional, unbiased, third-party is where the real progress can be made.

Mix it up and diversify your search

Chances are if you wait to get introduced to your next partner through your friends at a dinner party, you’re going to be waiting for a while. Just because your friends happen to know another single person, doesn’t mean the two of you will hit it off, let alone be compatible enough to make it in the long run. Friends mean well, but they don’t always know the core values and attributes you want and need in a partner. Make sure you diversify your search outside of set-ups and blind dates. Trying out some dating apps is a great way to explore meeting new people without the pressure of having friends in common. Apps aren’t for everyone though and the unfulfilling experience of using them leads many to seek out the services of a matchmaker instead.

Using a professional to help with your search can help, not only weed out unsuitable candidates, but also provide coaching and support along the way. Why not add in additional support to make you feel your best about getting back out there? At Maclynn International we have every angle covered so don’t hesitate to talk to us about what you need, our little black book of contacts has it all, contact us today!

by Gina Yannotta

Chief Operating Officer, New York City.

Gina Yannotta is Head Matchmaker & Chief Operating Officer at Maclynn International's New York office. Gina’s unyielding passion for the field, in combination with her extensive experience in matchmaking, has allowed her to orchestrate successful and everlasting relationships amongst her clients. Tasked with running the Manhattan office, Gina utilizes her interpersonal skills and relationship expertise to make a splash in the matchmaking pool, personally connecting her clients with their ultimate match while simultaneously taking advantage of the endless possibilities that NYC offers to its client-base.More by this author