Moving from dating to being in a relationship is seriously exciting. You’ve had a weekend break, met each other’s friends, and enjoyed countless long conversations well into the night.
But before you go any further, it’s worth taking a step back to make sure you guys are definitely on the same page. You’re on the verge of committing—and that means talking specifics – awkward or not. So today we explore 5 key topics to delve into with your new partner before deciding to go all the way with this thing. It’s not about agreeing on everything or assuming everything has to be perfect—it’s about communication. Honesty, transparency, and forward thinking make for the strongest relationships of all, so give this new relationship the best shot at success by laying your cards on the table when the time is right.
47% of Millennials wouldn’t date someone who didn’t share their politics. And while you don’t have to be in total agreement with the minutiae of one another’s leanings, it’s good to know you’re roughly on the same page, because massive political differences could cause a huge rift between you over time. Of course, you can learn a huge amount from one another’s politics, especially if they’re divergent from yours—just make sure the gap between you isn’t going to be a source of anger and awkwardness down the line once you’ve committed.
Pretty much all of us have exes—that’s to be expected. But what does vary widely is people’s contact with their exes. Some stay friends, or at least connected on social media. This might be important to you—but you need to account for your new partner’s feelings, because they may well be uncomfortable with any contact at all. For some people, staying in touch with your ex when you’re dating someone else is even tantamount to cheating, so make sure you’re upfront about your past relationships with your new partner. And furthermore, if it ended particularly badly with your ex, perhaps with an unusual level of animosity, or even a legal issue, it’s paramount you’re honest about that. Not only is it the right thing to do to give your new partner fair warning, but you’re also demonstrating that you trust them and want to commit to them—because committing means sharing your entire life with someone, not just the good bits.
Money is a seriously sensitive subject, and people have a vast range of attitudes and approaches to it. So sit down to talk about finances: how you like to spend, how you like to budget, and how you like to save. Some of us are frugal, some of us like to splash our cash—and we often struggle to understand the other side. But if your partner is equally forthcoming with information, you’ll find yourselves on equal footing, with a strong foundation on which to then build a life together.
No family is without its drama, but if you come from a family in which things are just crazy all the time, well… you should let your partner know. They may come from the same kind of background! Or your time with your family or proximity to them is very important to you, that is also important to share. But regardless, if there’s something about your lifestyle that could prove disruptive to your relationship from time to time (or even a lot of the time), your partner deserves to know. Transparency at this early stage will make for a far stronger relationship down the line.
I’m not necessarily talking long-term plans here—you don’t want to come across as intense. But it’s worth divulging any short- or medium-term plans that might affect this burgeoning romance. Perhaps you were planning to travel Asia for three months, or considering moving to the next city for job opportunities. Give your partner all the information you can so they can envisage what the near-term future with you would look like. It’s only fair. What’s more, by starting as you mean to go on with honesty and sincerity, you convey to them that you’re serious about this relationship going places. And if you’re single and looking for someone to settle down with yourself, we can help.
Maclynn is a boutique, multi-award-winning introductions agency with offices in New York, New Jersey, California, and London. We’re world-renowned for bringing together highly compatible singles within our vast network of attractive, intelligent professionals, and our matchmakers are relationship experts in their own right. Get in touch today, and prepare for genuinely meaningful dating—just like you deserve.