Dating experts would typically recommend going into a date simply just being yourself and while we do highly support this, we also suggest paying attention to the below commonly appreciated behaviors in dating that tend to the lead to higher rates of successive dates. While some of the points listed may seem painfully obvious, you may be surprised to hear that many of these actions are sadly ignored or forgotten.
Do Listen and Question Appropriately – Don’t Make the Date an Interview
A first date is a perfect opportunity to get to know someone new. However, be sure to not let your curiosity get the best of you and take the lead in conversation. The best way to make your date feel comfortable is through interactive listening whereby you fully comprehend what is being said and question appropriately for clarification.
Do Share Personal Opinions – Don’t Dominate the Conversation
When getting to know someone, sharing personal anecdotes and interesting stories is a way to bolster openness in communication between you and your date. Mutual sharing, emotional vulnerability, and honesty aids in trust building. Keep an eye on balancing reciprocal communication. If you notice you may taken control of the conversation, switch things up by asking your date some questions about themselves.
Do Give Your Undivided Attention – Don’t Look at your Phone All Night
While we all have busy lives and schedules, we have to do our best to focus our attention on our chosen priorities. If finding a partner is a priority, giving your full attention to your date is of utmost importance. This means attending to your date to build a connection, rather than constantly pulling out your phone to check texts or social media accounts.
Do Show Up on Time – Don’t Arrive “Fashionably Late”
You might be surprised how much promptness is rewarded in a first impression. Most people are forgiving for reasonable slip ups in timing, however, if you are on time, this is highly regarded as a marker of intentional dating and commitment. If you are running late, be sure to let your date know as soon as possible. Please do not purposeful arrive late in hopes this will increase your desirability. It will not.
Do Dress Appropriately – Don’t Dress too Casually or Overdressed
Have you ever heard the phrase “dress to impress”? It is important to show up as yourself on a date but there is an art to dressing well for the occasion which goes a long way. Curating your attire shows thoughtfulness towards your appearance and the impression you would like to provide. It may seem obvious, but don’t wear jeans and t-shirt to a dinner date or alternatively what may be considered lingerie in a different setting. When in doubt, check a restaurant’s dress code.
Do Compliment Your Date – Don’t Give Back-handed Compliments
A simple compliment on your date’s appearance or way of being is typically well-received. “I love your smile” or “I really like the way you think” is a nice gesture if true! Stay away from “compliments” that are insults in disguise such as “I don’t usually like redheads but you really pull it off well” or “you really don’t come across as someone that’s wealthy! You’re so down-to-earth”.
Do Choose Which Stories to Share – Don’t Talk about Exes
This shouldn’t come as a surprise but talking about exes during the initially stages of dating is typically not the best idea. These conversations tend to get a bit intense too quickly and lead to complicated topics before trust is built. If your date asks you about past relationships, try diverting the conversation and mentioning that you would love to talk to them about this when you get to know them better in the future.
Do Keep First Dates Short – Don’t Inappropriately Cut a Date Short or Drag it on
An amazing date can easily lead to hours of time spent together. However, it may be best to save extra time spent on another date so that there isn’t too much pressure placed on this initial exchange. Also, if you haven’t had the best time, please also be respectful of the person sitting in front of you. Of course, you’re not required to spend your entire evening with a horrible date but try not to make up an excuse and leave without reason.
Do Follow up After a Date – Don’t Text Incessantly
Following up after a date may not seem wise but we have noticed that it makes all the difference. A short text letting the other person know that you had a good time leaves them with a positive impression and opens up a thread of conversation if you want to keep in touch. However, be careful not to over text following a first date. While you’re each developing a bond, keep things light but consistent so as to calmly build momentum.
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