We are beginning to enter the holiday season where the days are becoming cooler, and our feelings get warmer. Crowned ‘the most wonderful time of the year’, this annual change also brings arise many stressors. Other than holiday shopping, party planning or family get-togethers, navigating dating during the holidays generates many moments of pressure. We can choose to fall under the spell of ‘cuffing season’ or take this time to relic in quality moments with ourselves and loved ones. The question is which path do we take? Although there is no right or wrong answer, deciphering the two may relieve any pain points as you reflect on your dating life during the holidays.
The spotlight that is placed on your relationship status during this seasonal peak is directly correlated with external and internal variables. Externally, we are perpetually fed subliminal messages that remind us we are single through advertisements, couple’s social media posts, or yearly questioning from family members. But internally there are biological changes occurring that can result in us feeling lonelier. Research shows that people produce lower levels of serotonin due to the lack of sunlight, making us undergo those “winter blues.” This heightened sensation triggers the body to attach or couple up, modernly known as “cuffing season.” LMFT psychologist, Heather Browne says, “feeling lonely often results from not feeling wanted or important.” But jumping into a relationship does not have to be your speedy cure for solitary. It is important to know that it is okay to give yourself a break from dating and focus on your greater importance, after all it is the season of giving!
Ask yourself, “am I seeking a relationship because I am ready with a clear love vision?” Or, and this next question may take some intentional reflection, “am I succumbing to societal pressures and looking for a quick fix to combat my seasonal loneliness?” If you find that you are corresponding with the second question, then it is okay to accept it and spend the holidays in a relationship with yourself. Rachel Maclynn, our CEO & Founder says, “remember how amazing you are, and in my book, it is always preferable to be single than being with the wrong type of person for you.” She also recommends taking a social media detox for a few weeks or volunteering. There are so many people who are truly alone in every sense of the word, why not consider giving your time, even if just for a few hours. Once the festivities have passed, then it may be time to reflect on where your relationship priorities lie.
On the other hand, if you find you are agreeing with the first question, then great! It is a time of the year many people are most likely to have off work and therefore are at their least stressful workwise, hence, people are in a great mood for dating – it’s the perfect time to go out on dates. Whether you know which path you are ready to take, working with one our dating experts could be your guide!
At Maclynn International, we incorporate psychology-based practices to uplift you in transforming the way you are approaching dating relationships forever. By working with our in-house psychologist, Dr. Madeleine Mason Roantree, she will support you in becoming your own expert on compatibility through date coaching, allowing you to feel ready to crack the daunting world of dating. You may also get connected with one of our matchmakers who can streamline your dating journey by organizing and prioritizing your values when seeking a partner. Get in touch today for a complimentary consultation – our gift to you!