Still you might think, “No, I should see this through.”

I respect the place where that mindset comes from. It means you’re a good person. But trust me—there are times when it’s okay to cut this thing short.

And I think it’s important to hear this from a matchmaker in particular. Because generally my advice to clients is to wait it out, to give the benefit of the doubt, even to try a second date if you’re undecided. But there comes a point when the only thing you can do is up and leave.

Of course, how you walk out remains at your discretion. We always advise you have your first date in a public setting, but even then walking out can feel daunting. However, if your instincts are telling you to go, you should listen to them. And to help you hone those instincts, I’ve put together 9 times it’s acceptable to leave—and feel okay about it.

1. They’ve lied

If they’ve promised you the world before you’ve met—they’re a CEO, take multiple vacations a year, and, oh yeah, they’re totally ripped—then you might be skeptical, but irresistibly excited as well.

And it might not even be that extreme a scenario. But regardless, if you get there and soon find out they’ve been lying since the moment you matched, how are you meant to establish any trust or connection whatsoever with this person?

2. They mention all the people they date

Sure, you met on an app. No one’s pretending otherwise. But why do they keep bringing it up? How is this meant to make you feel special, like their attention tonight is focused on you and you alone?

At best they have a pathologically unmanageable ego. At worst they’re a total player. Either way, this is not the match for you.

3. They insult you

Whether they’re rude, denigrate you for whatever reason, or aggressively shoot down your opinion, your time is better spent elsewhere. You deserve a lot more—and they don’t deserve you.

…And while we’re at it, who is this person so lacking in self-awareness that they think it’s okay to insult a date? Where do these people even come from?!

4. You feel uncomfortable—or downright unsafe

It doesn’t matter how early into the date you are, even if you’ve just arrived. If they make you feel weird—and especially if at any point you feel in danger—just get out.

5. They go off on a rant

It doesn’t even matter if you agree in principle with what they’re saying. If you’re clearly bored and they’re taking advantage of your polite listening, that’s a red flag.

Ranting is totally one-sided and disrespectful of the other person, because it devalues their time, and discounts their capacity to have their own opinion.

If you’re now 20 minutes deep into a diatribe on the state of the world and you’ve barely got a word in edgeways, an early night is probably in order.

6. They’re just way too intense

A truly incredible date might end with your date saying, ‘This has been amazing. I’m so happy we met. When can I see you again?’ And that’s great.

…But it’s not so great when they’re saying that before the first round of drinks has even arrived.

7. They straight up ask you for sex

Unless you happen to be up for something casual, this is probably the easiest reason to hightail it out of there. It couldn’t be more clearcut.

8. They’re basically uninterested

Why did this person even ask you out in the first place?

They’re just staring at their drink. Or their phone. They ask no questions, gives one-word answers, and makes it patently obvious they’re not into you. That’s their prerogative, sure.

And it’s your prerogative to skip a second drink, grab your coat, and leave.

9. Your instincts are saying to get out

Our gut feelings are millions of years in the making. They’re designed for this exact situation: They’re saying all the right things, doing the right things too, and yet… something is just not right.

It might be impossible to put your finger on what’s up. It doesn’t matter. If red flags are jumping out, even though you can’t place their source, do what you need to do—and get home safely.

There really are times when it would be an insult to your own worth and intelligence to stick around. If you’re discerning with who you go on dates with then hopefully you never find yourself in such a situation—but you still might.

And remember, no matter who you’re meeting up with, stay safe and smart. Don’t get too drunk. Keep things in a public space. And let someone know where you’re going, and with who.

Maclynn is a boutique, multi-award-winning introductions agency with offices in New York, New Jersey, California, and London. We’re world-renowned for bringing together highly compatible singles within our vast network of attractive, intelligent professionals, and our matchmakers are relationship experts in their own right. Get in touch today, and prepare for genuinely meaningful dating—just like you deserve.